and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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