Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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