Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
