Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
