my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
