1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
