Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
