I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
