Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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