We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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