How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
