i just had sex bonerless
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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