it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
