You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
