he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
