i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
