HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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