I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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