what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
