We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
