Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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