sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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