so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
