how can u be prego again
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize