Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
