I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
