Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Everyone says I win the strip club
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
