Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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