So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
