They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
