I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
