The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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