I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
