I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
