put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
