New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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