You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
