Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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