and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
