I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
