You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
