i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
