girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
