Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We left an ass print on the piano.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
