we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
