So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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