Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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