Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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