I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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