your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
