We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
