Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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